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The Interview
Nov. 2nd, 2007 09:56 amShe smoked like she had a grudge against the cigarette; face screwed up and eyes closed as she sucked on the one end, making the other flare cherry across the desk. She hadn't asked whether or not I minded. Frankly, I was getting the distinct impression that this was the kind of place that didn't care about either your comfort or opinions at all. It was all about an extremely large paycheck, and no further questions.
"Your CV is very robust, Mister Sykes. A strong mix of hardware and software certifications, even some design work. Tell me, have you ever had to work under adverse conditions?" Another cruel sucking pull at the cigarette. It made me want to snuff it out of sheer discomfort.
"I, uh, worked for a startup two years ago that needed to network two oil rigs in the Gulf. We lost power during a storm, and I had to patch around the system so we could get a stable uplink running on a small generator." I hate that story. Thirty-six hours on a floating refinery being bounced around by a tropical storm like a bar of soap in the bathtub.
"Good, good. What's your experience with firearms?"
"What?"
"Are you a good shot, Mister Sykes. It's a simple question."
"Um, I-- well, I haven't been hunting since I was a kid."
"So you'll need a two week weapons training course." She made a quick note on her file. "How about ancillary skills; field mechanics, demolitions experience, paramedic training?"
"Well, I have to be honest, Miss Carter, all of my jobs in IT haven't really required those skills."
"Mister Sykes, you'll find that when we hire for any job, our requirements are as demanding as our work. Any criminal activities not on your record, Mister Sykes? Tendency to violence, abusive relationships?"
"No!"
"Shame. But I suppose we can overlook that. Finally, Mister Sykes, do you love America?"
"What kind of a question is that?" The interview felt like it had completely slipped out from under my feet. It had been a network operator position, with some installation and maintenance work thrown in. Guns?
"The kind I need an answer for."
"Yes, of course."
"Good. Mister Sykes, we'd like to hire you. Our standard signing bonus will apply, as will as the confidentiality cause from this point on. I would suggest complying, as our lead counsel happens to be an excellent shot." She held out her hand. "Welcome to Blackwater."
"Your CV is very robust, Mister Sykes. A strong mix of hardware and software certifications, even some design work. Tell me, have you ever had to work under adverse conditions?" Another cruel sucking pull at the cigarette. It made me want to snuff it out of sheer discomfort.
"I, uh, worked for a startup two years ago that needed to network two oil rigs in the Gulf. We lost power during a storm, and I had to patch around the system so we could get a stable uplink running on a small generator." I hate that story. Thirty-six hours on a floating refinery being bounced around by a tropical storm like a bar of soap in the bathtub.
"Good, good. What's your experience with firearms?"
"What?"
"Are you a good shot, Mister Sykes. It's a simple question."
"Um, I-- well, I haven't been hunting since I was a kid."
"So you'll need a two week weapons training course." She made a quick note on her file. "How about ancillary skills; field mechanics, demolitions experience, paramedic training?"
"Well, I have to be honest, Miss Carter, all of my jobs in IT haven't really required those skills."
"Mister Sykes, you'll find that when we hire for any job, our requirements are as demanding as our work. Any criminal activities not on your record, Mister Sykes? Tendency to violence, abusive relationships?"
"No!"
"Shame. But I suppose we can overlook that. Finally, Mister Sykes, do you love America?"
"What kind of a question is that?" The interview felt like it had completely slipped out from under my feet. It had been a network operator position, with some installation and maintenance work thrown in. Guns?
"The kind I need an answer for."
"Yes, of course."
"Good. Mister Sykes, we'd like to hire you. Our standard signing bonus will apply, as will as the confidentiality cause from this point on. I would suggest complying, as our lead counsel happens to be an excellent shot." She held out her hand. "Welcome to Blackwater."
