8:05 In The Morning (Buh-DUM Buh-DUM)

[dexfarkin]

See, let me tell you about my day. Day, how can you have a day, Dex? It's only 8:05 in the morning. There needs to be the Trump and the Call for your to be awake at 8:05 in the morning, much less wearing pants and not looking like a catalog of 'male hair styles of the 1970s', you say.

Fuck you guys, really. That was uncalled for.

Anyhow, my day started with a conference call at 6am. Here's how this works. Because we are working on a bid between the regions of Europe/Middle East, the Americas, and AsPac (Asia Pacific, as opposed to the new fetish video game classic, AssPac-Man), the only time we can synch up time zones involves the stupidly early in the morning time range. So, groggy and sleep deprived, I get subjected to a medley of accents, including Australian (West Sydney to be specific, like Seraph's accent before she traded it for a Midwestern one), Scottish (and not funny Billy Connelly Scots. I mean full on sheep punching and oatmeal fucking Scots), Hong Kong (which sounds like a Londoner who's been grabbed by the nuts), Hampshirian-shiran-shustersurian, whatever. English, and best of all, transposed Brooklyn in Long Island.

I still have no clue what anyone said at any point.

More importantly, guess who insommnia kept up until 4am? On the plus side, I have a tremendous amount of work to do. Wait, lemme just reread-- fuck...

I demand sympathy, words of encouragement, hardcore pornography, a case of RedBull, and recommendations on where to buy amphethemines in Toronto these days.

Comments

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

I can do the sympathy, the encouragement, can lead you the porn (Pornotube for the win!), can't do the Red Bull, and I can talk to some folks about the amphetamines.

Other than that, I'm kinda excited for you about the bid because I'd kill to be working on anything that challenging. Here's to good work!

[diamond-dust06.livejournal.com]

Xtube is also great for porn.

[maureenans.livejournal.com]

*pets* you can do it! just glare at the telephone at random. always makes me feel better!

and the 70's hair is awesome. don't knock the jewfro. although I don't know what your excuse for it is ;)

[ferox.livejournal.com]

Yes, please treat your insomnia with a drug that will never let you sleep ever again, especially if you're getting a street version. Thumbs up.

Also, RedBull tastes like what I expect ass would. And not metaphorical "damn, that girl has one sweet ass, I could lick it" ass. The groddy kind. I suggest stopping by chic coffee place of choice and getting some dark chocolate covered coffee beans, unless you have a funnel to be pouring the drink directly down your throat with.

(I'd feel more sorry for you, but if I am miserable at my job, so must EVERYONE BE. No, really, sorry, at least it's the nonsleep that's the problem and not the job itself.)

[nute.livejournal.com]

Having personal knowledge of the location of your office, I can assure you that you have a number of fine public houses within a few minutes' walk. Simply entreat upon your superiors for an afternoon's indulgence and repair to one of these serene establishments, wherein to imbibe heavily of the fermented beverages within, until such time as the travails of the day no longer register.

[dexfarkin.livejournal.com]

Ah, liberal application of the juice of the barley. An ancient remedy to be sure...

[deathpixie]

Actually, you sounded rather together during that call. Well done on the faking. *grins*

And no, you didn't wake me up - I was having an equally crappy night due to the fact I couldn't lie in one position for more than fifteen minutes without something hurting. Bounce, Heatherly, I have a whole new world of respect for you guys.

[dexfarkin.livejournal.com]

Of course. That was work voice. Work voice deals in millions only, has India on speed dial and can manage a dozen vice presidents like children. Work Voice only buys the best designer cocaine and third world mineral rights. Work voice once dated Scarlett Johansson, and she still leaves teary messages begging it back. Work voice was the first man on Mars. Work voice really killed Princess Di.

[pebblin.livejournal.com]

My mom has a 'work voice'. It used to weird me out and when she used it to call my aunt and left her a message, my aunt's grandkids asked her who that white lady was that had called.

Can your work voice get me nudy pics of Scarlett? I don't really dig her, but hey. Why the hell not?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

*wry* I've got a whole lot more practice, and, I suspect, better drugs. But *hugs* That sort of night always sucks giant monkey balls. (Dex's night can have the giant hairy money balls)

[anastasiab.livejournal.com]

Damn, it feels good to be a gangsta.

[pebblin.livejournal.com]

O.O

[anastasiab.livejournal.com]

'Office Space' reference. ;)

[pebblin.livejournal.com]

Riiiiight. *Dr. Evil*

You're still Toronto-bound, yes?

[just-shai.livejournal.com]

On from the library, no porn.

But dude, support.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bounce_/]

I can give sympathy because six am and anything requiring coherent thought should be illeagal.

Three shots of espresso in a mug, add a dash of sugar and you'll be right. :)

[bittertwist.livejournal.com]

XTube and Queen West, around the Bathurst district.

Shaiyela

[frito-kal.livejournal.com]

Speaking from the terminal insomnia crowd. On days where you CAN - no caffiene. No soda, no tea, no coffee, no chocolate. NONE. On days where you can't? Chocolate covered espresso/coffee beans. They will hurt, taste like ground ass, and may make you puke.

They'll also wake your ass up in about 30 seconds flat just from the fact that they TASTE GODAWFUL. Most efficient caffiene vector I've found - and they should metabolize pretty fast. You'll crash hard after, but for about two hours, you'll be the most awake thing in fifty miles.

They're also legal and mostly non-addictive. (They'd be addictive, except they TASTE AWFUL. No, worse then that.)

As always, mileage may vary. Some crazy people like the taste. I don't know WHY...

[pebblin.livejournal.com]

Full Throttle and Kronik taste waaaay better than Red Bull. You should try it. If RB's what you need, I could just wait and bring some with. Remind me.

Oh, and, your job sucks. Good work on makin' it through...or whatever it was that you did.