Cathartis, My Arse Is...

[dexfarkin]

One thing that is easy to forget is that losing a job includes a process like the stages of death. You know, denial, bargainning, etc. Or in my case, it involves a whole lot of positive steps that are carefully and fragilely constructed over a swelling boil of self-pity, self-loathing, and a deep geyser of insecurity. Which eventually erupts at some point, swamping everything and leads to a mini-breakdown.

For those watching at home, that would be last night and last post.

To steal a film quote, I believe it was the depression I had to have. That wonderful moment of rock bottom when not only are you in the gutter, but you can't see the stars because someone just vomited on your face. I usually try not to make that moment as public as possible, but at least it wasn't on goddamn Twitter, eh?

Anyhow, apologizes for the meltdown, and it is appreciated the notes of support. Fortunately, I feel a little lighter today; cleaner, like I was able to shed some things. So thank you all.

Comments

[moonandserpent.livejournal.com]

...but at least it wasn't on goddamn Twitter, eh?

Suck it, Telfer. Suck it.

[dexfarkin.livejournal.com]

Obvioualy I have missed something here...

[moonandserpent.livejournal.com]

Because I've been having my breakdown 140 characters at a time. :)

[dexfarkin.livejournal.com]

Well fuck. This is what happens when I stop needing Twitter to amuse me in the last half hour before work is over.

Sorry man, it totally wasn't directed at you.

[moonandserpent.livejournal.com]

Sure it wasn't.

*peers suspiciously*

[trishalynn.livejournal.com]

Glad to be of any help.

[seraangel.livejournal.com]

Glad you're feeling better, mate. *amused at twitter ref*

[kateshort.livejournal.com]

Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

*hug* You can share anytime. Catharsis is good.

Though next time hopefully it won't be as bad as the "someone-puked-on-my-face" stage...

[darkmark.livejournal.com]

Wish I could give you more than shopworn platitudes, Dex, but we *both* know how hard losing a job is. Once you bounce back from the gutter, perhaps you'll be drawn like a lodestone to the *next* job. And I hope yours works out for you at least as well as mine has for me. Take care, hombre.