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Gay Cookies
Jun. 27th, 2012 12:19 pmhttp://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/how-could-you-boycott-a-cookie?fb_comment_id=fbc_10150937254384775_22928762_10150937397199775#f8eff89ae12d74
Oreo recently posted a rainbow filled cookie image to support upcoming Pride festivities. Predictably, bigots and mouthbreathers quickly took to Facebook (another corporation open about their support of Pride) to express their outrage, badly mangle Bible quotes, and state with great satisfaction that they will no longer buy Oreos and thus punish the company.
The response from Kraft Foods was typically bland and upbeat, discussing how they feel the brand resonates similar values of equality. It made me a little sad, because I feel that this was just begging for a more honest response which the JC Penny and Toys R Us gay pride scuffles didn't lend themselves to. In my dreamworld, the response would have been:
'Kraft Foods understands that some of our customers have vocally expressed their decision to boycot our problems. The thing is that we simply don't believe you. In these days of America's ever swelling (pardon the pun) obesity issues, Kraft Foods is the second largest food manufacturer in the country. We own hundreds of brands that you're not going to bother to track down if you're too lazy to figure out the right Bible quote to throw at us. We also know that going without oreos for more than a month isn't going to happen because your personal convenience far outstrips any moral outrage that you may feel. In six months, you'll be back to stuffing your face with our products, whether you know it or not, and along the way, have helped us show our 100 year old brand is hip, cool, and now sucking up dollars from the gay community at an increased rate.
So to our critics, Kraft Foods encourages you to cram your hole with more cookies instead of voicing your ignorent opinions. We bought your lifestyle years ago, and your dollars will flow into our coffers regardless of any internet bravado stating otherwise. You know it. We know it. So enjoy the rainbow cookie and shut the fuck up.'
Obviously why I don't work in public relations.
Oreo recently posted a rainbow filled cookie image to support upcoming Pride festivities. Predictably, bigots and mouthbreathers quickly took to Facebook (another corporation open about their support of Pride) to express their outrage, badly mangle Bible quotes, and state with great satisfaction that they will no longer buy Oreos and thus punish the company.
The response from Kraft Foods was typically bland and upbeat, discussing how they feel the brand resonates similar values of equality. It made me a little sad, because I feel that this was just begging for a more honest response which the JC Penny and Toys R Us gay pride scuffles didn't lend themselves to. In my dreamworld, the response would have been:
'Kraft Foods understands that some of our customers have vocally expressed their decision to boycot our problems. The thing is that we simply don't believe you. In these days of America's ever swelling (pardon the pun) obesity issues, Kraft Foods is the second largest food manufacturer in the country. We own hundreds of brands that you're not going to bother to track down if you're too lazy to figure out the right Bible quote to throw at us. We also know that going without oreos for more than a month isn't going to happen because your personal convenience far outstrips any moral outrage that you may feel. In six months, you'll be back to stuffing your face with our products, whether you know it or not, and along the way, have helped us show our 100 year old brand is hip, cool, and now sucking up dollars from the gay community at an increased rate.
So to our critics, Kraft Foods encourages you to cram your hole with more cookies instead of voicing your ignorent opinions. We bought your lifestyle years ago, and your dollars will flow into our coffers regardless of any internet bravado stating otherwise. You know it. We know it. So enjoy the rainbow cookie and shut the fuck up.'
Obviously why I don't work in public relations.
