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A Crude Rebuttal
Aug. 31st, 2011 01:32 pmLots of people are having fun taking Alyssa Bereznak to task for her rather terrible article about her two dates with Jon Finkel, the world M:tG champion on Gizmodo. Frankly, Alyssa just sounds like the typical catty shallow bitch stereotype in the article. You can imagine her as a thin blonde woman with straight hair, sitting in a pencil dress and a faux designer bag, buying $22 martinis as a subsituite for success from a bar with vague hipster cred and a sour expression on her face. It's like the embryonic 'Sex in the City' motief, where in fifteen years, she'll be writing arch stories for the Chatelaine on-line crowd about how disappointing men are and how her last financial manager boyfriend left her for the intern with big tits in his office, and he never even bothered to go down on her once.
Personally, I'm happy to let karma take her down that fated road.
If a girl tells me she plays Magic, it's a plus in her favour. Not for geek cred. Not even because I have a professed love of the game (I really don't. I like the X-Box version, but was smart enough not to get involved in the beginning and eliminate any chance of post-secondary education in exchange for five colour crack). It's for a very simple, crude, male reason.
Geeks fuck like rabid weasels.
Seriously, it's not the same with the popular high school girls. They often act like just the sheer act of opening their legs is granting you the pathway into Xanadu and Disneyland at the same time. That your reverence should be as if their labia was gold plated and she comes contact absorbed heroin. Especially after three $22 martinis in and a slurred last minute admission in the bedroom door that she thinks blowjobs are disgusting.
Geek girls read, man. They study. Chances are in high school, they weren't spending fourth period being inexpertly and painfully fingered by a jock behind the bleachers. Chances are they had a new character sheet hidden in their English notes, trying to finish it off before the end of the day, meeting her tribe of fellow geeks to troop to the basement of someone's befuddled parents to imaginarily swing around a battle axe for a couple of hours. A girl who has spent years disemboweling goblins and debating which issue of Uncanny Rachel debuted in generally lacks the kneejerk anti-blowjob response. It's entirely possible she's already written extensively about them prior to first hand experience, even if it happens to be Xavier nobbing off his greatest adversary.
See, they usually weren't sought after in their youth, save for the inconsistant efforts of their geek tribe, and as a result, never got it into their heads that sex with them was a kind of commodity; a way to social advancement and wish fulfilment. Most times, what they got was that once you figured out how everything went together (with perhaps a quick wiki check or bringing up Rule #34 and taking comfort in familiar references providing suggestions - I will one day make a million dollars by marketing the Marvel Kama Sutra, BTW), it was a whole lot of fun. It was even more fun the more you did it. The brave ones even found out that adding more girls and boys into the picture took it over the top, but that's a less common trait. And sadly, a few wanted to dress up like Care Bears during, which shows that every path has a darker side to it.
Once you hit your late 20s, generally the geeks that are not going to evolve and develop some level of social skills aren't going to be contacting you on OKCupid. The ones who have often pack a deliciously open-minded and adventurous streak in bed along side their Magic: the Gathering titles or 20 year strong RPG campaigns. Sadly, Bereznak's three strikes will always keep her from finding out.
Personally, I'm happy to let karma take her down that fated road.
If a girl tells me she plays Magic, it's a plus in her favour. Not for geek cred. Not even because I have a professed love of the game (I really don't. I like the X-Box version, but was smart enough not to get involved in the beginning and eliminate any chance of post-secondary education in exchange for five colour crack). It's for a very simple, crude, male reason.
Geeks fuck like rabid weasels.
Seriously, it's not the same with the popular high school girls. They often act like just the sheer act of opening their legs is granting you the pathway into Xanadu and Disneyland at the same time. That your reverence should be as if their labia was gold plated and she comes contact absorbed heroin. Especially after three $22 martinis in and a slurred last minute admission in the bedroom door that she thinks blowjobs are disgusting.
Geek girls read, man. They study. Chances are in high school, they weren't spending fourth period being inexpertly and painfully fingered by a jock behind the bleachers. Chances are they had a new character sheet hidden in their English notes, trying to finish it off before the end of the day, meeting her tribe of fellow geeks to troop to the basement of someone's befuddled parents to imaginarily swing around a battle axe for a couple of hours. A girl who has spent years disemboweling goblins and debating which issue of Uncanny Rachel debuted in generally lacks the kneejerk anti-blowjob response. It's entirely possible she's already written extensively about them prior to first hand experience, even if it happens to be Xavier nobbing off his greatest adversary.
See, they usually weren't sought after in their youth, save for the inconsistant efforts of their geek tribe, and as a result, never got it into their heads that sex with them was a kind of commodity; a way to social advancement and wish fulfilment. Most times, what they got was that once you figured out how everything went together (with perhaps a quick wiki check or bringing up Rule #34 and taking comfort in familiar references providing suggestions - I will one day make a million dollars by marketing the Marvel Kama Sutra, BTW), it was a whole lot of fun. It was even more fun the more you did it. The brave ones even found out that adding more girls and boys into the picture took it over the top, but that's a less common trait. And sadly, a few wanted to dress up like Care Bears during, which shows that every path has a darker side to it.
Once you hit your late 20s, generally the geeks that are not going to evolve and develop some level of social skills aren't going to be contacting you on OKCupid. The ones who have often pack a deliciously open-minded and adventurous streak in bed along side their Magic: the Gathering titles or 20 year strong RPG campaigns. Sadly, Bereznak's three strikes will always keep her from finding out.
