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Why Are You So Angry?
An extremely effective series of videos discussing the roots of GamersGate and the psychology that leads to it. The videos are good but they also have straight transcipts available.
http://innuendostudios.tumblr.com/
I was talking to a group regarding the Sad Puppy/Rabid Puppy Hugo controversy and the fact that a Venn Diagram between the overall opinions of their leading supporters, those of GG, MRA and PUA would be a very tight overlap. One of the elements I was discussing was comic book stores from the scope of my experience. Until looking back, I had forgotten that the first time I was in a comic store at the tender age of 11 (yes, this is around the same time we crossed the ocean to give ol'Fritz a seeing-to, you bastards) was that women weren't that uncommon in them. They were never the majority, but there was a strong female presence in the comic and comic related market. By the time I'd hit high school, they were pretty much gone. Comics, like video games, had found that currying to a younger male market had significant financial rewards and did so with a gusto. There were isolated elements, obviously, but as the industry changed, so did the marketing.
In a way, that altered my perspective. While I was lucky in that I was reasonably well socialized as a teenager, had female friends in my gaming group and managed to get away from the idea that it was a woman's fault if she wasn't attracted to me, I retained a lot of frankly poisonous opinions. My views on date-rape were... embarrassing to think of now, especially with the voracity regarding 'objective proof of guilt' that I used to explain to women. I happily parroted the idea that most women were drawn to 'bad boys' because of some kind of inherent deficiency they had internalized and used the term 'Friendzone' long before it hit the internet. I once boycotted a violence against women event on the basis that violence as a whole was wrong and singling out just one group wasn't fair. I claimed I didn't support feminism because I was an 'equalist'. I even once tentatively sidled up to the whole 'there's a difference between a black person and a nigger' before the look on my conservative father's face made me toss that ugly little seed into the garbage pile.
For all these faults, at the time, I was considered one of the more social progressive people in my social circle (although I'm guessing the women just grit their teeth and ignored my worst efforts). I think about that, and I think about where I'd be if I'd been 15 with access to the internet in today's environment.
I wouldn't have had a hope in hell. Somebody telling me that the rejection that I felt, the social abuse and feelings of not belonging, as well as the attention of young women that I achingly yearned for but could never get was someone else's fault? More importantly, it was a conspiracy of a group of others (SJWs) who are deliberately trying to take from me the few things that make me happy and turn them into another place where I'm excluded and alone? I would have posted to forums until my fingers bled. I would have happily heaped abuse on the Quinns and the Wus of the world.
What scares me is in part that I can easily see the road that would have taken me there. But more, I can't see the one that takes me back. Part of my opinions evolving were just the process of maturing, gaining life experience, etc. But the other part comes from the communities of people I've been exposed to with complicated, interesting women. Hearing their experiences, engaging them with questions and hearing their view points while trying to filter it through theirs experiences and emotional reaction. Making those emphatic connections that force you outside of your comfort zone and challenge your ideas. Hell, the first time I had a friend explain in monotone, dead shark eyed stare the events of her date rape, I could feel myself shriveling inside at the memory of a couple of years before pontificating to her about what date rape actually war. It was an educational but before corporal punishment came out of the classroom moment.
So today, I type this as what I consider myself to be all around decent guy; not blind to my faults and far from perfect, but at least trying to understand the other perspectives with as much empathy as critical analysis. I got here because, in part, I got plenty of both external and internal kicks in the ass to show that my opinions needed to be re-examined. Would I have gotten there from GG? Would I have pushed outside of the bubble like I did or spiraled inward, growing more certain of the righteousness of my beliefs that redpill and the PUA became the filter that I experienced my life through? The terrifying thing for me is that I think the odds would have been more in GGs favour.
http://innuendostudios.tumblr.com/
I was talking to a group regarding the Sad Puppy/Rabid Puppy Hugo controversy and the fact that a Venn Diagram between the overall opinions of their leading supporters, those of GG, MRA and PUA would be a very tight overlap. One of the elements I was discussing was comic book stores from the scope of my experience. Until looking back, I had forgotten that the first time I was in a comic store at the tender age of 11 (yes, this is around the same time we crossed the ocean to give ol'Fritz a seeing-to, you bastards) was that women weren't that uncommon in them. They were never the majority, but there was a strong female presence in the comic and comic related market. By the time I'd hit high school, they were pretty much gone. Comics, like video games, had found that currying to a younger male market had significant financial rewards and did so with a gusto. There were isolated elements, obviously, but as the industry changed, so did the marketing.
In a way, that altered my perspective. While I was lucky in that I was reasonably well socialized as a teenager, had female friends in my gaming group and managed to get away from the idea that it was a woman's fault if she wasn't attracted to me, I retained a lot of frankly poisonous opinions. My views on date-rape were... embarrassing to think of now, especially with the voracity regarding 'objective proof of guilt' that I used to explain to women. I happily parroted the idea that most women were drawn to 'bad boys' because of some kind of inherent deficiency they had internalized and used the term 'Friendzone' long before it hit the internet. I once boycotted a violence against women event on the basis that violence as a whole was wrong and singling out just one group wasn't fair. I claimed I didn't support feminism because I was an 'equalist'. I even once tentatively sidled up to the whole 'there's a difference between a black person and a nigger' before the look on my conservative father's face made me toss that ugly little seed into the garbage pile.
For all these faults, at the time, I was considered one of the more social progressive people in my social circle (although I'm guessing the women just grit their teeth and ignored my worst efforts). I think about that, and I think about where I'd be if I'd been 15 with access to the internet in today's environment.
I wouldn't have had a hope in hell. Somebody telling me that the rejection that I felt, the social abuse and feelings of not belonging, as well as the attention of young women that I achingly yearned for but could never get was someone else's fault? More importantly, it was a conspiracy of a group of others (SJWs) who are deliberately trying to take from me the few things that make me happy and turn them into another place where I'm excluded and alone? I would have posted to forums until my fingers bled. I would have happily heaped abuse on the Quinns and the Wus of the world.
What scares me is in part that I can easily see the road that would have taken me there. But more, I can't see the one that takes me back. Part of my opinions evolving were just the process of maturing, gaining life experience, etc. But the other part comes from the communities of people I've been exposed to with complicated, interesting women. Hearing their experiences, engaging them with questions and hearing their view points while trying to filter it through theirs experiences and emotional reaction. Making those emphatic connections that force you outside of your comfort zone and challenge your ideas. Hell, the first time I had a friend explain in monotone, dead shark eyed stare the events of her date rape, I could feel myself shriveling inside at the memory of a couple of years before pontificating to her about what date rape actually war. It was an educational but before corporal punishment came out of the classroom moment.
So today, I type this as what I consider myself to be all around decent guy; not blind to my faults and far from perfect, but at least trying to understand the other perspectives with as much empathy as critical analysis. I got here because, in part, I got plenty of both external and internal kicks in the ass to show that my opinions needed to be re-examined. Would I have gotten there from GG? Would I have pushed outside of the bubble like I did or spiraled inward, growing more certain of the righteousness of my beliefs that redpill and the PUA became the filter that I experienced my life through? The terrifying thing for me is that I think the odds would have been more in GGs favour.
no subject
I could describe in intimate detail just how absolutely shitty my late primary school/early high school life was. The fact that boys had no interest in me and actually went out of their way to remind me how ugly and unwanted I was.
There were two choices for me there - let it make me bitter and hateful or let it make me kind. I chose to let it make me kind. These people have exactly the same choice.
I'm glad you had people in your life that helped you become the person you are now. I happen to consider that person a dear friend and someone I'd travel across a world to hang out with on a regular basis if I had the damn money to do so.
But I think technology has just made these people more visible - it's not that they weren't always there. And I do think they still have the ability to grow up and become better people. Not all of them will, it's that same two pronged choice. But you know, sometimes you cut your losses and figure if they ever come back your way you'll have the conversation with them and hope they've changed.
I do think one of the differences though is in just how much more support women have then we used to. I do think in some ways that's why we're seeing a more vicious response in return. Old guard types will always rail against losing the things that made them feel powerful or special. I think it'll get worse before it gets better. Just means we have to keep up the fight.