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Well, it's New Years and I'm sick with a cold. Granted, the whole house is sick, but what can you do? Soup is consumed, cats are cuddled, games are played...
In contrast with my last personal message, I'm actually doing a lot better. Work, while being frustrating, is also more temporary as I get my resume out and start to see some other opportunities. Giving up being able to effect change there does a lot to limit how engaged and thus how stressed I can be about it. While it's a bit unfortunate how things turned out, I have to remember that they didn't turn out badly. I'm getting paid decently, the job is far better than working a till or cleaning floors, I have lots of time where I basically police my own hours - on the whole, it's a job I would have been quite happy with 5 years ago, but not now.
I've also done something I haven't done in years and spent some money on myself, replacing my dying X-Box and ordering a new laptop. I'm happy to spend money on trips or things 'for the house', and certainly on other people, but I have a tendancy to limit myself severely when it comes to purchases over $100. It was kind of nice to be able to do it, as well as helping me do some things I've been putting off.
The nicest thing is that I seem to have found how to tap back into the ability to start things again. I'm not saying that I've written a novel or anything over the last week, but I have been a lot more proactive in getting projects back on-line. Let's be honest, my core self-esteem is based around being usefully employed and being creatively active towards a real goal, so my hope is that success there will drive success across the board.
So, yeah. A lot of work to do and a long way to go, but I feel better than I have in months, and that's not nothing.
In contrast with my last personal message, I'm actually doing a lot better. Work, while being frustrating, is also more temporary as I get my resume out and start to see some other opportunities. Giving up being able to effect change there does a lot to limit how engaged and thus how stressed I can be about it. While it's a bit unfortunate how things turned out, I have to remember that they didn't turn out badly. I'm getting paid decently, the job is far better than working a till or cleaning floors, I have lots of time where I basically police my own hours - on the whole, it's a job I would have been quite happy with 5 years ago, but not now.
I've also done something I haven't done in years and spent some money on myself, replacing my dying X-Box and ordering a new laptop. I'm happy to spend money on trips or things 'for the house', and certainly on other people, but I have a tendancy to limit myself severely when it comes to purchases over $100. It was kind of nice to be able to do it, as well as helping me do some things I've been putting off.
The nicest thing is that I seem to have found how to tap back into the ability to start things again. I'm not saying that I've written a novel or anything over the last week, but I have been a lot more proactive in getting projects back on-line. Let's be honest, my core self-esteem is based around being usefully employed and being creatively active towards a real goal, so my hope is that success there will drive success across the board.
So, yeah. A lot of work to do and a long way to go, but I feel better than I have in months, and that's not nothing.
