![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
War On Men
Nov. 26th, 2012 01:54 pmhttp://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/11/24/war-on-men/
Yet another article discussing the apparent fall of men because women are no longer feminine and thus, men are no longer interested in getting married. Because it means competing with their spouse. Or something.
We've seen and destroyed the supposed 'logic' behind these kind of fluff articles by self-proclaimed 'relationship experts' before, but reading it, it struck me that the heavy doses of misogyny do damage in both ways. It damages women by reinforcing the trope that personal success is a barrier to happiness and the highest allowable pinnacle of achievement is to get married and have kids (setting the bar pretty fucking low indeed). What caught me while reading it was the kind of feminine ideal that as a man, I'm supposed to need to function.
I'm supposed to be waiting for a woman who represents someone I have to achieve for and support financially in order to be an adult. Someone who is incapable of competing with me in order to maintain my delicate ego. Someone who has very specific relationship requirements to be met prior to having sex. Because, without this clinging, cloying, self-obsessed creature to support and protect, I will never be a true man.
So, I'm handing in my true man card. If that kind of relationship is the ideal, I'll pass. I'd rather be with someone who makes me want to be better because of their support in me, and not to 'win' in some nonsensical dick measuring contest. I'd rather be with someone who wants to build a home and a life together, and not wait with the expectation that I'm going to provide everything. I'd rather be with a smart, sexy woman who is successful in her own right as a person, and not some kind of expensive breathing accessory to fuck every now and then.
The reality is that both men and women could use a whole heaping dose of more feminism right now. The best relationships aren't based on bullshit ideals straight out of a 'Leave It To Beaver' episode; they're based on the trust and respect between individuals, free to make the choices that best suit them, and comfortable to accommodate and compromise as equal partners. All the 'women aren't women anymore' trope espouses is a demand for homogeny from those unable or unwilling to respect all people as individuals.
Yet another article discussing the apparent fall of men because women are no longer feminine and thus, men are no longer interested in getting married. Because it means competing with their spouse. Or something.
We've seen and destroyed the supposed 'logic' behind these kind of fluff articles by self-proclaimed 'relationship experts' before, but reading it, it struck me that the heavy doses of misogyny do damage in both ways. It damages women by reinforcing the trope that personal success is a barrier to happiness and the highest allowable pinnacle of achievement is to get married and have kids (setting the bar pretty fucking low indeed). What caught me while reading it was the kind of feminine ideal that as a man, I'm supposed to need to function.
I'm supposed to be waiting for a woman who represents someone I have to achieve for and support financially in order to be an adult. Someone who is incapable of competing with me in order to maintain my delicate ego. Someone who has very specific relationship requirements to be met prior to having sex. Because, without this clinging, cloying, self-obsessed creature to support and protect, I will never be a true man.
So, I'm handing in my true man card. If that kind of relationship is the ideal, I'll pass. I'd rather be with someone who makes me want to be better because of their support in me, and not to 'win' in some nonsensical dick measuring contest. I'd rather be with someone who wants to build a home and a life together, and not wait with the expectation that I'm going to provide everything. I'd rather be with a smart, sexy woman who is successful in her own right as a person, and not some kind of expensive breathing accessory to fuck every now and then.
The reality is that both men and women could use a whole heaping dose of more feminism right now. The best relationships aren't based on bullshit ideals straight out of a 'Leave It To Beaver' episode; they're based on the trust and respect between individuals, free to make the choices that best suit them, and comfortable to accommodate and compromise as equal partners. All the 'women aren't women anymore' trope espouses is a demand for homogeny from those unable or unwilling to respect all people as individuals.
