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Nashville: No Groin Zone
May. 2nd, 2012 01:28 pmhttp://www.knoxnews.com/news/2012/apr/30/gateway-sexual-activity-spurs-legislator-debate/
Legislators have sent the governor a bill, drafted by a conservative Christian organization, that makes classroom instructors who promote or condone "gateway sexual activity" subject to a $500 fine.
Thank god for America. Every time you expect things to have hit their nadir, something like this pops up. Usually out of the South. So, nebulous 'gateway sexual activity' is described further as any touching, clothed or otherwise, of the groin, buttock, upper thigh, and breast region. There's no clarification for intent or even situational constraints. As one legislator pointed out, sitting on someone's lap would count as misconduct.
As an aside, I'm waiting for the first charges stemming from high school football and the ages old 'slap on the ass'. One has to assume high school wrestling will be likewise eliminated in favour of manly non-sexual table tennis.
But wait! Like the campaign said, it gets better!
The bill was largely drafted by former Sen. David Fowler, who now heads the Family Action Council of Tennessee. The FACT website says the bill was inspired partly by an episode at a Nashville high school wherein a contract instructor used graphic illustrations of sexual organs in a class. A key feature of the bill, the website said, is making Planned Parenthood and other organizations that provide sex education information in schools, subject to the $500 civil fine.
Are you fucking kidding me? This is because someone pulled out a goddamn encyclopedia and the parents had the collective vapors over an illustration? Man, I love it. I love it because it so beautifully encapsulates the complete psychological breakdown of both the modern South and the family unit simultaniously. I really need to get into a business making new chasity belts, that ensure that young men and women can't look at their genitals, touch them, or otherwise access them at all until their parents decide at eighteen to remove them and magically declare them healthy, mature adults well perpared to make reasonable decisions regarding sex.
Legislators have sent the governor a bill, drafted by a conservative Christian organization, that makes classroom instructors who promote or condone "gateway sexual activity" subject to a $500 fine.
Thank god for America. Every time you expect things to have hit their nadir, something like this pops up. Usually out of the South. So, nebulous 'gateway sexual activity' is described further as any touching, clothed or otherwise, of the groin, buttock, upper thigh, and breast region. There's no clarification for intent or even situational constraints. As one legislator pointed out, sitting on someone's lap would count as misconduct.
As an aside, I'm waiting for the first charges stemming from high school football and the ages old 'slap on the ass'. One has to assume high school wrestling will be likewise eliminated in favour of manly non-sexual table tennis.
But wait! Like the campaign said, it gets better!
The bill was largely drafted by former Sen. David Fowler, who now heads the Family Action Council of Tennessee. The FACT website says the bill was inspired partly by an episode at a Nashville high school wherein a contract instructor used graphic illustrations of sexual organs in a class. A key feature of the bill, the website said, is making Planned Parenthood and other organizations that provide sex education information in schools, subject to the $500 civil fine.
Are you fucking kidding me? This is because someone pulled out a goddamn encyclopedia and the parents had the collective vapors over an illustration? Man, I love it. I love it because it so beautifully encapsulates the complete psychological breakdown of both the modern South and the family unit simultaniously. I really need to get into a business making new chasity belts, that ensure that young men and women can't look at their genitals, touch them, or otherwise access them at all until their parents decide at eighteen to remove them and magically declare them healthy, mature adults well perpared to make reasonable decisions regarding sex.
