![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Ten Opinions
Nov. 19th, 2003 01:20 pmMy Ten Unpopular Fandom Opinions
Stolen from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
kielle, laced with my very own bile, and spat out on the screen.
10. Fandom desperately needs to get laid, to at least vaguely temper their unrelenting obsession with genital bumping with some experience. The colliery to this is if your obsession is the writing of vast reams of porn, remember the simple basic fucking rules: sex is messy. Gay men are not women with penises. Gay women are not men with tits. Rape is an exercise of power, not sensuality. Seman does not come in a wide variety of fruit flavours like you keep comparing it to, and most of all, if you don't understand how the moist bits fit together, don't write it!
9. Fanfiction is for fun. So are sports. If you can't be bothered to train and learn, don't be surprised when you fail to get invited to play in the big leagues. More so, never ever try to use incompetence, laziness or lack of interest as a defense. You want to play, you get judged by the same set of rules, sweetheart.
8. Fandom Wank has an alarming and amusing habit of unintentionally mirroring the arguments it proposes to mock. It has also breathed the life back into more trolls/flamebait/psychos/arguments than an army of Doctor Frankenstein.
7. LOTR and HP fandoms hide some of the creepiest and most lunatic fringes to been seen since the days of the Trekkie ascension. Even Buffy and X-Files cannot generate the same kind of lock-step passion and fanaticism wielded by some of the ardent hierophants of these fandoms. I believe all children's literature has the power to generate incredibly frightening adults.
6. LOTR requires a really good editor and someone to surgically remove that Bombadil ass-munch from the pages to even hope to work as a good story. Otherwise, it remains most easily summarized as 'Two idiots, ignoring all other options and ideas, walk to a fucking mountain to throw in a ring. Someone sings every three pages. Badly.'
5. Boyband fic in specific, and RPS fic in general teach us what happens when the media bubble turns into solid steel.
4. Pairings dominance in fanfiction performs the same function as Agent Orange to the jungle. Only the largest dead hulks, or the shit rotting in the deepest parts of the soil remain, and anyone who was there at the time gives birth to some damn ugly babies.
3. The Buffy/Angel fandom must one day realize that the central message of the show is that banging any vampire, no matter who he is or what his past, is always a really really bad idea.
2. On the icon "My fandom...." It's over. It was funny maybe the first 10 times, less so the following 80,000 or 90,000 followups. It goes in the closet with the Hammer pants and the NKOTB posters, kids.
And my number one most unpopular fanfiction opinion:
1. Any involvement in fanfiction is wholly voluntary. If you don't feel appreciated or welcome, leave. If you gain no enjoyment from writing, reading, archiving, or being a general hanger-on, leave. If you want to start big projects and no one seems ready to help, the problem is not that we're lazy. The problem is that you have failed to sell your idea to interest us. We are at no time required to be nice, helpful, considerate, fair, democratic or assisting. When we are being these things, it is because we have decided to be and you should appreciate that. Archives are not democratic institutions, you have no right to be in one, and you have no say in what, how, and why things are archived. That's how a tyranny works. Suck it up and move on. There is no 'elite' in fanfiction any more than there is an 'elite' for kids on the playground. If someone seems more popular, learn why that is. If you can't emulate that, that is your problem. Everyone starts the first day with an internet connection, a browser and an e-mail. Where you go and what you do is entirely in your hands, so stop trying to cop out and claim the man is keeping you down.
Stolen from
kielle, laced with my very own bile, and spat out on the screen.10. Fandom desperately needs to get laid, to at least vaguely temper their unrelenting obsession with genital bumping with some experience. The colliery to this is if your obsession is the writing of vast reams of porn, remember the simple basic fucking rules: sex is messy. Gay men are not women with penises. Gay women are not men with tits. Rape is an exercise of power, not sensuality. Seman does not come in a wide variety of fruit flavours like you keep comparing it to, and most of all, if you don't understand how the moist bits fit together, don't write it!
9. Fanfiction is for fun. So are sports. If you can't be bothered to train and learn, don't be surprised when you fail to get invited to play in the big leagues. More so, never ever try to use incompetence, laziness or lack of interest as a defense. You want to play, you get judged by the same set of rules, sweetheart.
8. Fandom Wank has an alarming and amusing habit of unintentionally mirroring the arguments it proposes to mock. It has also breathed the life back into more trolls/flamebait/psychos/arguments than an army of Doctor Frankenstein.
7. LOTR and HP fandoms hide some of the creepiest and most lunatic fringes to been seen since the days of the Trekkie ascension. Even Buffy and X-Files cannot generate the same kind of lock-step passion and fanaticism wielded by some of the ardent hierophants of these fandoms. I believe all children's literature has the power to generate incredibly frightening adults.
6. LOTR requires a really good editor and someone to surgically remove that Bombadil ass-munch from the pages to even hope to work as a good story. Otherwise, it remains most easily summarized as 'Two idiots, ignoring all other options and ideas, walk to a fucking mountain to throw in a ring. Someone sings every three pages. Badly.'
5. Boyband fic in specific, and RPS fic in general teach us what happens when the media bubble turns into solid steel.
4. Pairings dominance in fanfiction performs the same function as Agent Orange to the jungle. Only the largest dead hulks, or the shit rotting in the deepest parts of the soil remain, and anyone who was there at the time gives birth to some damn ugly babies.
3. The Buffy/Angel fandom must one day realize that the central message of the show is that banging any vampire, no matter who he is or what his past, is always a really really bad idea.
2. On the icon "My fandom...." It's over. It was funny maybe the first 10 times, less so the following 80,000 or 90,000 followups. It goes in the closet with the Hammer pants and the NKOTB posters, kids.
And my number one most unpopular fanfiction opinion:
1. Any involvement in fanfiction is wholly voluntary. If you don't feel appreciated or welcome, leave. If you gain no enjoyment from writing, reading, archiving, or being a general hanger-on, leave. If you want to start big projects and no one seems ready to help, the problem is not that we're lazy. The problem is that you have failed to sell your idea to interest us. We are at no time required to be nice, helpful, considerate, fair, democratic or assisting. When we are being these things, it is because we have decided to be and you should appreciate that. Archives are not democratic institutions, you have no right to be in one, and you have no say in what, how, and why things are archived. That's how a tyranny works. Suck it up and move on. There is no 'elite' in fanfiction any more than there is an 'elite' for kids on the playground. If someone seems more popular, learn why that is. If you can't emulate that, that is your problem. Everyone starts the first day with an internet connection, a browser and an e-mail. Where you go and what you do is entirely in your hands, so stop trying to cop out and claim the man is keeping you down.
